For PYY

I know I should be sleeping now but I can't. I went to PYY's Blog, October 2007 archive, didn't know the exact reason why I went back there & read this "21st October 2007" post. I've got mixed feelings, it brought me back to the heartbreak-cum-heartwarming situation.
It read like this:

Upon hearing your call.
I wish I can be there by your side.
If I were to hear you cry at the other end of the phone,
I will just grap my things and run off.

I had quite a hard time looking for the place.
Finally I found.
I saw you.
That face covered up by fake smiles.

We walked off.
On the way.
I kept quiet.
I hear you talk.

On the escalator.
I take a quick glance at you.
You slim down.
Alot.

Are you wondering for the reason?
In train.
I looked into your eyes.
Nothing but disappointment.

Since that day.
When the choice was made.
It was tough for you.
Like a huge burden.

Over the times.
I share your happiness.
I share your sadness.
Your everything.

From the every first day.
Till now.
We learn together.
We grow together.

Whenever I need you.
You are always there.
At least.
You try to.

But.
Why is it that I cant.
I always failed.
To be there for you.

I fucking hate myself.
Leaving you for a fucking second time.
I can never make it there.
WHY?

I fucking want to be there.
To hug you tight.
And.
Let you cry in my arms.

My mind is with you at all times.
Bloody worried.
But.
Fucking dont want to go to you.

If you dont believe.
Promises are meant to be broken.
Let me make a promise to you for one last time.
I will be there for you, always.

Feels really close to my heart & because of this, I believe there is no need for many fair-weather friends, cos I've got THEM (: